end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
