I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
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Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
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Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.