Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
