Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.