Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.

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(607): Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock. http://tfl.nu/yv63

Replies (121) Good night (6968) Bad night (1147)
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(626): View more from California

she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song

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(626): she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song http://tfl.nu/tlf6

Replies (35) Good night (1700) Bad night (4431)
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(678): View more from Georgia

while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.

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(678): while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF. http://tfl.nu/huje

Replies (130) Good night (15673) Bad night (1404)
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(559): View more from California

You realize it's finals week?

(408): View more from California

Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

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(559): You realize it's finals week? (408): Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first. http://tfl.nu/rjos

Replies (19) Good night (6465) Bad night (1064)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.

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(480): Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea. http://tfl.nu/s5ct

Replies (5) Good night (804) Bad night (1223)
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(512): View more from Texas

I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see

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(512): I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see http://tfl.nu/ic6l

Replies (6) Good night (944) Bad night (604)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning

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(416): I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning http://tfl.nu/fy90

Replies (10) Good night (735) Bad night (1243)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.

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(215): Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know. http://tfl.nu/nlx4

Replies (6) Good night (1704) Bad night (516)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...

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(231): Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans... http://tfl.nu/n7qg

Replies (4) Good night (525) Bad night (1110)
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(845): View more from New York

I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.

(845): View more from New York

I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"

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(845): I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home. (845): I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip" http://tfl.nu/e0kb

Replies (7) Good night (2005) Bad night (469)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.

(507): View more from Minnesota

I can't wait to read your obituary.

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(815): Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her. (507): I can't wait to read your obituary. http://tfl.nu/uin6

Replies (4) Good night (1414) Bad night (562)
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(434): View more from Virginia

do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

(540): View more from Virginia

yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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(434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli

Replies (1) Good night (898) Bad night (525)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals

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(413): He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals http://tfl.nu/hgzz

Replies (4) Good night (1164) Bad night (559)
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(562): View more from California

I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving

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(562): I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving http://tfl.nu/yknu

Replies (1) Good night (855) Bad night (341)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?

(1-867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".

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(867): Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks? (1-867): Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time". http://tfl.nu/kj36

Replies (0) Good night (750) Bad night (241)

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