I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just cropdusted the office
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
