Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I party with great urgency now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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