He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
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I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
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He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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