If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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