I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
