I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
