yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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