when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
