Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
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No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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