I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
