I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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