i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
false alarm, still single
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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