The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize