Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
