Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
