JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
