k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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