Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
