now i know why i became what i already was.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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