She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
