I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize