i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
