It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
