Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
