On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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