i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
