omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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