I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
