So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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