Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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