I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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