whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
