I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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