I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
As shirtless as possible
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
