So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
