come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize