Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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