Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
