I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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