i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
