we made out on top of his cat.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The air was thick with penises
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
