I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ketchup is God's man juice
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
