omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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