I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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