How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
