We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
These tits shall not be calmed
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
