I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so let's talk penis.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
