I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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