sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
