She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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