Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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