Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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