I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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