This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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