STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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