I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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