Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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