YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
